Temptresses in Green

Temptations come in many forms. The righteous must always be on their guard. Vixens in green and brown, the "scouts" of the evil one mysteriously appear at my door when I am at my most vulnerable (just before suppertime) with their "innocent" smiles and beseeching gaze.

"Get behind me Satan!" my soul cries out but my mind is weak and gives in to the pleasures of the flesh. In minutes, depleted of the funds I earned through honest toil at the grindstone, I have been reduced to my basest desires. My lust for the forbidden fruit of caramel and coconut have undone me again. A "thin" mint, so innocent on its own, sickens me as an entire box disappears before my eyes...

You know what I mean?

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Church camp can be demanding.

To all my camper and leader friends out there: Have a fun and safe Summer!

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Didn't you get my out of office reply?

When I get an auto-reply from someone, I sometimes wonder if they're really there but just not "taking my call" so to speak. I love the opportunity to draw silly situations that exaggerate the truth. And, in fact, that usually makes for a pretty good gag that people can connect with. I've noticed that a really funny story is hard to put into a comic, while a simple situation like an email reply can give birth to something funny.

So, if anything completely normal and mundane has happened to you lately, drop me a line. It could be my next good gag.

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The End is Near for the Printed Word!

Oh, I do hope you're reading this comic on your Kindle!

I am fully immersed in the whole electronic media world and I sometimes wish I weren't. I just love books. If I go somewhere that has a bookshelf, I'm immediately drawn to it. Seeing all those spines lined up together just makes me happy. I'm uncontrollably intrigued about what titles I'll find. I know this sentiment has been beaten to death by old guys like me but there are great reasons to keep print alive such as:
• Giving someone an e-book is a sterile gesture compared to one that you can physically wrap with paper and a bow.
• e-books can't be personalized by the author.
• A bookshelf is a physical profile of your interests.
• Printed books are much more likely to be a good read. Anyone and everyone can create an e-book without the filter of a publisher/editor giving credibility.
... and so on.

I'm glad you like this comic, electronic or printed. For those who have purchased my book, I do appreciate the chance for my work to sit in your bookshelf. I'd be interested to know what it's sitting next to.

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Where do you come up with those jokes?

Not being on a daily schedule, I have the luxury to let jokes come to me during the course of my pretty mundane day. Within a week, I can usually find a situation that just needs a little exaggeration to make it into a joke. But some weeks, I just come up dry. I know this comic was written very literally. I probably said that exact phrase to my blank piece of paper and luckily I was open enough to recognize the action as a joke in itself.

I bet some sermons are like that. The pastor has a point to make, but try as he might, the illustrations are as elusive as ...
as hard to come up with as ...
... er, you get the idea. Anyway, there's my process for all of you who asked*.

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* well, really the only person who asked was the janitor at the bus station and I think he only wanted to break the ice before asking me to lift my feet so he could mop.

More Committees Than Members

Church "work" is a tricky thing to manage. I've seen more active members of churches suddenly drop off the roles because there are simply so many things that they are asked to do that they just decide to chuck it. It's easier to stop going to church than it is to tell some committee chair that they don't really want to participate in their new program. So do yourself a favor, please don't pressure members to accept responsibilities that they aren't really jazzed about. Don't eye new members as fresh blood for your committee. Make it clear to people that you'd like them on your team but you understand they might be busy with other things and, please, take no for an answer!

Recently I've heard rumblings from other people bringing up this very issue, so I'm not alone in this. Churches are seeing declines pretty much across the board and ours is no exception. But just be aware that adding a program to bring in new members could be counter productive if you burn out the ones you have. By the way, I belong to the Presbyterian Church and while it's very democratic in its process, I think we are the committee champions. We have committees that nominate people for committees including the members that will be on next year's committee-nominating committee.

Well, after all that, at least I've learned how to spell committee. ;)

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Lenten sacrifice

Lent. I know lot's of people who give up one thing or another for Lent. Usually it's something that they really like: sugar, chocolate, Cokes. Sometimes it's more traditional like meat or it's an activity like watching TV or video games. Whatever. Going without is healthy for the body and mind but to get the full effect, replace the void with a dialog with God. If you're fasting, use that hunger to help you focus on your relationship with Christ. Consider all the people who HAVE to go without and use your want to better understand their plight and remember them in your prayers.

Yeesh! Not a very funny commentary. I hope you like the cartoon anyway. Peace to you this Lenten Season.

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The unspoken assigned seating of congregations

If you go to church, you know how it works. Everybody has their preferred seating. I often wonder if visitors sense that when they come in for the first time. Do more stubborn members shoo people out of their place? Does it drive them crazy to see a different rear where theirs should be? Anyway, if you don't regularly go to church, try it and let me know what happens.

BTW, I sit in the choir, so my seat is truly assigned.

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The party's over, now get back to work.

It's a fact of life. As we get older, birthdays become less and less important. After about 20, other people only make a real effort at the decade mark and then it ends up some sort of morbid roast to the "nearly departed". Black balloons, images of the grim reaper ... Until you hit 70 - then it's too close to the mark and people go back to celebrating your long life. Finally, after hitting 90, every year becomes a milestone again.

Oh well, when you're a teenager, life is just a series of reality-checks. This comic depicts just one of the many. Happy birthday.

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Game on, stringbean!

Growing up, I was a huge fan of the daily comics. I read 'em all including the soap-opera ones like Rex Morgan. Blondie is a classic strip that does everything right. The art is well crafted, the main character has his famous idiosyncrasies that makes him endearing to the reader. His ability to make and eat sandwiches has permeated into society to the point that most people know that a "Dagwood" is going to be a big sandwich when listed on a menu.

Also, I've always loved crossovers in comics partly because it immediately gives the reader a connection to the artist. As you read a comic, if the artist is true to the strip's universe, you get so into the characters that you forget the artist behind the scenes. But when Hagar shows up in Pearls Before Swine you are exposed to the artist's thought process. As a cartoonist myself, I really appreciate that connection.

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Careful what you pray for

It's a concept as old as Genesis but somehow we need to be reminded every day. I sometimes wish Finding Elim would be more popular or even syndicated but when I really think about it, It's also a frightening thought being committed to do a more frequent or even (gasp!) daily comic.

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Funraising Opportunities

Well, let's face it. That money's not going to just fall in our lap. Finding the right way to raise money is tricky, especially for a church.

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So, when DOES the youth group start breaking things again?

I'm surprised youth groups don't have to have their own insurance policy. If you have a great youth group story, drop me a line and maybe I'll use it in a comic.

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Love your neighbor, OR ELSE!

Not all my comics have a moral but this one ...

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... you might be a redneck.

Look, we all do stuff that we know is the lazy way out and yet temptation gets the better of us. This comic is about me. There is a line where the amount of leaves clearly requires a rake and I've crossed it - big time. Oh well. Call me a redneck, call me lazy. Just don't call too loudly, I'll be busy relaxing on the couch.

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The lock-in

Nothing has contributed to my aging like the tribulations of the lock-in. It is some kind of requirement that the kids come up with some kind of prank or outrageous stunt. I keep telling myself that I'm too old for these things and yet I keep on doing them.

Do you have any lock-in stories? Send 'em to me, I can always use the inspiration.

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budget and finance

Nothing causes more conflict in a church than finances. Let's face it, most churches are run like a business - it's hard not to. And yet, Jesus makes it clear that money should be our last concern. What's a poor congregation to do? Ya gotta pay the bills.

Tell me, what do you think?

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Young, skinny blonds need the Word too.

One of my favorite people of all time was Dan Vigus. He had a way of recognizing the humor in just about every situation and on one occasion, while vacationing on the beach he made the above comment to his Father in law. The midwesterners in us had been practically shielding our eyes to the bathers on the beach and his impromptu quip lightened the mood. It's a small thing, but it's all the small jokes and observances from people like Dan and others that have formed my sense of humor and inspired Finding Elim.

So remember, God's beauty is all around us: in the sunset, the mountains and in the fleeting, vibrant beauty of youth. Appreciate His creation! (but don't get too enthused or your wife will give you her own thoughts on the matter).

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Happy Mother's Day!

Have a happy Mother's Day!

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Indoor sports

Unfortunately, one of my very bad ideas was an indoor frisbee game. Turns out the rubber frisbee wasn't the problem, it was the kid who went through the window. Well, lucky for me, he didn't kill himself.

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